GETS Tender Watch Notification for Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Interesting Tenders, I presume the answers to the first are very, very basic requirements, we want to keep in sync with historic places surely?

I hope they mean breaking rocks for Tender 2.

Surely they only need to order picks, shovels and wheelbarrows, maybe a few brooms for Tender 3?

Unfortunate Headline

Oh Dear, Paula have a chat to your staff, because I don’t think that headline is too flattering.

Interesting swell though that between 2008 and 2009, a mere nano second as the clock ticks over we had a massive 19,596 abuse cases. Perhaps New Years Eve is really bad for paedos on patrol for pissed kids.

We actually don’t need too much work here and Paula could save her department millions in dollars and time by simply implementing a Name and Shame campaign for abusers and then summary execution for the kiddy-fiddlers.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Can’t really see the point of this, perhaps I should send it to http://engrish.com/

Anyway I can save them heaps, it’s over there [points], now are you aware of Asia?

Where Asia?

Popularity: unranked [?]

The GETS tender system has been quiet over Christmasbut now the slumbering civil service is awaking and little gems are coming through.

Nice to see the Ministry of Justice embracing Bounty Hunters, although they couch it in government new-speak so as not to alert the liberal pant-waists.

Ministry of Justice ;ooking for Bounty hunters

Popularity: unranked [?]

Haven’t they heard about surveymonkey.com?

GETS Tender Watch Notification for Monday, 7 December 2009

Popularity: unranked [?]

Oh dear Lord please give me strength. Would someone, anyone, in the government please sort this shit out, please I beg of you, this is almost daily now.

I mean WTF? I’m good at understanding Governmental NewSpeak but this is complete shite.

GETS Tender Watch Notification for Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Popularity: unranked [?]

I don’t think I need to say anything about this the foolishness speaks for itself. The MORST one in particular is silliness extreme. Close second is MED.

GETS Tender Watch Notification for Monday, 30 November 2009

Popularity: unranked [?]

Complete idiocy from the Department of Labour. Haven’t they heard that ALL the major web browsers, Internet Explorer, Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, Apple Safari, Opera and have been since 1995. As for the reporting solution there are many Open Source solutions tht are also free.

Clearly the plonkers in the DoL IT department are bereft of any nouce and the the whole palce should be outsourced immediately.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Look at these Tenders for MoE. Complete and utter feel good, airy-fairy, mumbo-jumbo politically correct bullshit.

Hell when i went to school the “smart tools” used by the teachers to better support student achievement, ie paying attention, were a variety of canes kept in the Deans room on the A Floor. The good teachers let you go and select your own cane, the arseholes chose for themselves and trust me there is an art in choosing canes that are about to wallop your arse.

GETS Tender Watch Notification for Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Popularity: unranked [?]

Another ridiculous tender.

Clearly OnTrack hasn’t heard of opensource software OpenOffice which would be essentially free and can output documents in pdf format automatically without the need for any other expensive software ripoffs like Microsoft Office.

Ever heard of Open Office?

Popularity: unranked [?]

Ok so it appears that my Tenderwatch community service isn’t working in halting silly and wasteful spending by Government departments.

Here is the latest farcical tender that some Maori Trougher will have already wangled for himself at great cost to the taxpayer.

I have a few questions.

1. What I want to know is why is that Maori Rangatahi are getting a special Physical Activity programme?
2. What about Chinese Rangatahi?
3. European Rangatahi?
4. Samoan Rangatahi?
5. Why do Maori fishing nets need special Physical Activity programmes anyway?
6. If they mean youth why didn’t they just say that?
7. Isn’t this sort of programme already called “Rugby” or “Football” or “League”?

I propose a solution to this silly waste. The Romans invented it it is quite effective. It is called decimation.

From Wikipedia;

Decimation (Latin: decimatio; decem = “ten”) was a form of military discipline used by officers in the Roman Army to punish mutinous or cowardly soldiers. The word decimation is derived from Latin meaning “removal of a tenth.”

Procedure

A unit selected for punishment by decimation was divided into groups of ten; each group drew lots (Sortition), and the soldier on whom the lot fell was executed by his nine comrades, often by stoning or clubbing. The remaining soldiers were given rations of barley instead of wheat and forced to sleep outside of the Roman encampment.

Because the punishment fell by lot, all soldiers in the group were eligible for execution, regardless of the individual degree of fault, or rank and distinction.

The leadership was usually executed independent of the 1 in 10 deaths of the rank and file.

Ok so the next silly tender that is issued the whole department goes through decimation. That’ll sort it.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Here is a ripper of a waste of money.

A tender for the delivery of a “South Asian Physical Activity and Nutrition promotion Services to the Auckland Metro Region”

Well fuck me, I don’t even know what that is supposed to mean or what it even entails but since I live in Howick I can tell you that the Asian community does very well thank you very much looking after itself. If you drive around Howick most mornings and especially on the weekend you will see literally thousands of Asians doing massed classes of Tai Chi on every available carpark. From the looks of the Wikipedia article on Tai Chi it looks like a South Asian Physical Activity and Nutrition programme has already been developed, been around for 1000’s of years and now just needs some posters explaining where the classes are held.

I don’t think they need a South Asian Physical Activity and Nutrition promotion Service for the Auckland Metro Region. More bloody waste that needs to be knocked on the head.

Popularity: unranked [?]