So desperate was Tigerpig to get the hit on Anne Tolley he rushed to publish his post. He clearly had the jitters as you can see below. Very ironic as he was talking about literacy. Don’t forget this man wants to be Education Minister.

Tigerpig has a shocker

Popularity: unranked [?]

…Can he swill from the trough, Yes he can, because he is the Tiiiiigerpig.

Late Last night a loyal Whaeloil Army members (Special Ops) sent me a message about the strange, creepy stalking behaviour of Tigerpig, all behaviour that he troughed up at our expense.

Now we all know that Tigerpig has a fetsh with women, after rooting his way around the country on the pretext of parliametary and ministerial business, but his fetish for Anne “Closer” Tolley is becoming rather creepy.

He flew up from the hell-pit that is Wellington yesterday so he could stalk Tolley by videoing both her and Chief at meeting. My understanding is he also made audio recordings. Of course this would have been on the tit of the taxpayer. Tigerpig has himself confirmed the story boasting of his exploits on Red’s are Berks.

After the cake disaster from Creepy Cosgrove we now have this stalking behaviour by Tigerpig and don’t forget the racist rant by Repulsion Camel supported by Clare Curran, it seems as though there is a serious problem within the Labour caucus on behaviour that is appropriate for MPs. What Labour seems to have forgotten that it was exactly this sort of behaviour that turned the electorate off them. I am happy for them to continue though as it give me free hits.

I know Closer is as cunning as a fox but looking like a fox is another thing, mind I suppose Tigerpig can’t be too choosy these days. It’s rather sad actually, so much talent and all wasted on scoring random chicks.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Chris Barton has a splendid article in the NZ Herald today. Splendid for a number of reasons. One because, it is shining light of excellence in the current editorial darkness reigning at NZ Herald and two, because it tells the cold hard truth about the state of the play and history of spineless  Communications ministers. Cardinal Richelieu would do well to read it and take heed.

The time is rapidly approaching when we discover whether Steven Joyce has what it takes. Whether he is a communications minister with mettle or whether he travels the way of so many communication ministers before him – to the realm of the spineless jellyfish.

No point wasting words getting to the crux of the issue. Now for a history lesson, when it is all in one place and with out the spin of politicians it is an indictment on various governments and individuals.

Maurice Williamson went there, championing the ideology of the light-handed regulator, but consigning the country to the slow lane of telecommunications for more than a decade in the process. Paul Swain went there too. Faced with the big decision – whether to open monopoly services to competition – poor Paul didn’t have the bottle. He’ll forever be known as the minister who the dropped the unbundling bundle. He too set the country back another decade in the process.

Then came brave David Cunliffe, the minister who lived up to his name and slew the Goliath, Telecom. It wasn’t a slingshot to the forehead. Cunliffe used the twirling bolas of operational separation around the ankles to fell the giant and curb its rampant monopoly power. Sadly, Cunliffe was weak on the mobile front – where duopoly rather than monopoly rips off consumers.

And that is just when Ministers had the responsibility, since then “Karori Bill” went and took that decision making process and put it in the hands of Telecom and Vodafone the Telecommunications Commission.

By machinations too tedious to mention, Vodafone conspired, with the help of Bill English, to force the minister, in 2007, to step aside from adjudicating in the arcane arena of mobile termination rates. Basically, these are fictional fees mobile operators pay each other for calls terminating on one another’s network. In truth they shouldn’t exist at all, but such is the power of telecommunications companies, they can make fiction reality and rort the hapless consumer. Which is why New Zealand has one of the most expensive mobile services in the world.

I’m not entirely convinced, had he been given the chance, that Cunliffe would have brought the Vodafone/Telecom duopoly to heel. But in the end the task fell to Trevor Mallard who handled it with all the aplomb of a spineless jellyfish.

I just bet Tiger bursts forth in a rant on Red Alert about this article. The truth hurts Tiger though, he is spineless, especially when he has to won his own shit.

Joyce has two big decisions on his very near horizon which will show us his true colours. The first is whether to regulate mobile termination rates and the second is to decide who to partner with to build our new “open access” fibre network. If you are pro consumer, the answers to both are obvious. Regulate mobile rates and have the power lines companies lay our new fibre. Whatever you do, don’t give Telecom a sniff at the latter.

You betcha Telecom should have now’t to do with the Fibre network. They can’t even run their mobile network.

Regulate, because we’re sick and tired of paying through the nose for our mobile phones. And give the new “ultra fast broadband” job – which involves $1.5 billion of taxpayers’ money – to the lines companies because the telcos, especially Telecom, have all shown they’re not only not interested, they’re not up to the job. Even when it builds a new network, Telecom still manages to make it broken.

Yep. Arguably, moving data is far less taxing or demanding than deploying power to every house.

If anyone has any doubts about this it’s worth reading the Ministry of Economic Development’s statement about this grand scheme. “Private sector companies have decided, on behalf of their shareholders and as a commercial decision, not to invest in a nationwide network of fibre-to-the-home at this point in time.”

Translation: Since the Labour government, in a fit of stupidity, sold our telecommunications network for a $4.25 billion song to private ownership, it has been run down to such a decrepit state that we (the Government) now have to bail it out.

Or as the MED puts it: “The Government understands this, and so wishes to assist and work with the private sector in improving the business case for ultra-fast broadband because of the public benefit to be gained from such a network.”

Lets hope what that really means is: “If we are going to stump up $1.5 billion for a new network (something a sensible Telecom should have been progressively making over the past 15 years instead of taking exorbitant monopoly rents for its shareholders) then we’re sure as hell not giving Telecom a bean.”

So far zero faults with Chris Barton. His article is a succinct view of the parlous state of telecommunications in New Zealand.

Finally a message for Cardinal Richelieu.

So far, you have to say, Joyce has played with an exceedingly straight bat. But it won’t be easy negotiating the quagmire of a split recommendation by Commerce Commissioners on mobile termination rates. Two argue for putting heads in the sand while one voice of reason says enough is enough – Vodafone and Telecom have had more than enough time to sort this out and have, time and again, shown they can’t be trusted.

Joyce will be familiar with the sordid last-minute deal stitched together between new mobile entrant 2degrees and Vodafone last year. While the public isn’t allowed to know about this venality, anyone who cares to can find it online (search under “NZ Cellphone racket”). It shows that Vodafone will move if it has a gun to its head. Joyce will also be familiar with www.droptherate.org.nz and www.fibretothedoor.co.nz – two campaigning websites where the public is helping the minister make up his mind.

Go there at once.

What fed-up consumers want minister, is Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry. For some of us, it’s so bad, we don’t just want Clint to pull out his .44 Magnum and ask whether the punk feels lucky. With Telecom and Vodafone, we want him to pull the trigger.

And on the Thursday, Chris Barton rested, and he saw it was good, good it was.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Tiger Mallard has definitely got to get this iPhone App, it is even named after him.

Do you frequently make bad-decision texts — the kind of texts that likely show up on Texts From Last Night? Well, then, you should probably download TigerText, a new iPhone app that will let you delete those digital mistakes from another person’s phone.

TigerText [iTunes link], which was released yesterday, could be a boon for cheating politicians and foolishly sexting teens alike, according to founder Jeffrey Evans, who claims that he named the app before the Tiger Woods scandal. “People text like they talk,” Evans told Time. “And some of the things they say, taken out of context, can come back to haunt them.”

In order to avoid said haunting, you may download this app and, upon texting your mistress/NSA buddy/boss (accidentally) the recipient will receive a prompt to install TigerText. After doing so, your mistress/NSA buddy/boss can read the text, but he/she/it won’t be able to store it. The text will then disappear from your phone and all servers. You can also set the text so that it will delete 60 seconds after being read — you know, like in Mission Impossible.

I wonder if Tiger can get a bulk discount for “Cancer” and “Mangrove”. If they had a Blackberry version the whole of parliament would be downloading it.

Popularity: unranked [?]

hat tip Lukas Rants

We found out the other day that Tiger Mallard can’t spell Invercargill. Yesterday he couldn’t even count.

Mr SPEAKER: By my reckoning and from the advice I have received, the Labour Party has now used its 28 supplementary questions, and that is not counting the one where I gave the Hon Ruth Dyson the opportunity to repeat one of them—I did not count that one.

Hon Trevor Mallard: I raise a point of order, Mr Speaker. I know that this is relatively unusual and I am doing something that I have never done before. I am almost certain that I used five supplementary questions. My colleague the whip counted my asking five supplementary questions, which is what I was allocated. Your—

Hon Bill English: Can’t count.

Hon Trevor Mallard: That is the man who should have—

Mr SPEAKER: The member will resume his seat immediately, and that is the end of that point of order.

Not a good look especially when you are wrong.

For someone who is the oppositions chief education spokesperson his lack of numeracy skills are surprising to say the least. What is good for goose is good for the Tiger.

Popularity: unranked [?]

I see fron DPF’s Facebook page that Cactus Kate is in Wellington.

Is this the reason for Tiger’s gleeful disposition at the moment?

Popularity: unranked [?]

Tiger mallard thinks he is so smrt, whoops smart. Almost daily he tries to trip up Anne “The Closer” Tolley. Yesterday she dished up a good smackdown on poor Tiger.

Just for the record Tiger, you spell Invercargill like this I n v e r c a r g i l l.

Popularity: unranked [?]

While the she-beast has been in town she sure has been stirring up the country, anyone noticed how dismal the country became the minute her life sucking personage entered the country.

Anyway, Tiger Mallard has fallen back on old habits and starting quoting the she-beast again.

MINING: Helen Clark says when it comes to mining: “some things are more important than money.” Do we need to be concerned about mining on DOC land? Or is this much ado about nothing?

Why doesn’t he quote Goff instead of Clark?

Nice of her sitting on her millions she earned off the back of ordinary kiwis to say some things are more important than money. On the other hand she is probably right for herself, you know, a UN job, a tilt at Ban Ki moons job, getting the flag changed so the proletariat are conditioned towards constitutional change so we get a republic for her to sweep, in all her glorious evilness, in as the new President. Don’t think it will happen? The she-beast is a planner and some things are more important than money.

Still. Why didn’t Tiger quote Goff instead of Clark?

Popularity: unranked [?]

Everyone seems to have noticed that Tiger Mallard has a problem. Barnsley Bill, Garfield Herrington, David Farrar and me of course. Living with a mental illness can be tough, I oughta know. When you are sinking it feels like almost no-one wants to know you especially those who you would describe as close friends. It is then that people you didn’t even know were your friends come to the fore to help.

So Trevor, as a service for you I have compiled some numbers and details for you, in your own time, when you are ready, to perhaps seek help from. I know you can do it, just think of your position as a role model, if only for your kids.

Wellington Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Auckland Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous

Sex Therapy NZ

Auckland Therapy

Those are traditional methods, then there are others:

Promisekeepers

Of course there are the usual methods for sex addicts to try to control their urges:

Kensington Inn, Wellington

Il Bordello, Wellington

Popularity: unranked [?]

Sexual addiction is hypothesized to be (but is not always) associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), narcissistic personality disorder,^[18][19] and manic-depression.^[20] There are those who suffer from more than one condition simultaneously (co-occurring disorder), but traits of addiction are often confused with those of these disorders, often due to most clinicians not being adequately trained in diagnosis and characteristics of addictions, and many clinicians tending to avoid use of the diagnosis at all.^[1][21][22]

Specialists in obsessive-compulsive disorder and addictions use the same terms to refer to different symptoms. In addictions, obsession is progressive and pervasive, and develops along with denial; the person usually does not see themselves as preoccupied, and simultaneously makes excuses, justifies and blames. Compulsion is present only while the addict is physically dependent on the activity for physiological stasis. Constant repetition of the activity creates a chemically dependent state. If the addict acts out when not in this state, it is seen as being spurred by the obsession only. Some addicts do have OCD as well as addiction, and the symptoms will interact.^[21]

Addicts often display narcissistic traits, which often clear as sobriety is achieved. Others do exhibit the full personality disorder even after successful addiction treatment.^[18]

Popularity: 25% [?]

Tiger Mallard seems to be losing the plot. Barnsley Bill has noticed Tiger’s descent into the so-called sewer.

I’ve thought about this today wondering what could be twisting his balls so much. Remember last year the pinko Farrar was waxing lyrical about how Tiger Mallard had brought interest to the blogosphere, I think even I succumbed to some praise for Tiger. However the 2009 Tiger Mallard is very different from the 2010 Tiger Mallard. Something must have happened.

My first thought was perhaps Tiger, being the astute politician he is, may have realised that Labour really are fucked come 2011. Despite all the talking up on the lap-blogs and from commentariat, Labour just can’t budge the polls. John “Smile and Wave” Key remains stratospheric in the polls eclipsing even their Dear Leader at the height of her evil powers. Tiger would really hate this situation that despite how much poo they fling absolutely nothing is sticking to John Key or to National. The Whales spies also tell him of Tiger’ teary eyes in the corridor after being thrown from the house by Speaker Smith. The word is Tiger was loudly exclaiming how much he hated parliament, and hated opposition. Perhaps that is one reason for the vituperative narrative coming from the angry keyboard of Tiger Mallard.

Another reason could be that Tiger hasn’t kept up with his remedial anger management classes or that he may have changed his medication. I don’t think this holds much water but it could explain his ups and downs.

The main reason is probably the same reason Tiger always gets himself in trouble. He has followed his cock once too often and got snapped in a big way. I mean Tiger got his nickname for this very reason. This time though I think it has been a complete disaster for Tiger, I think he has simply had his amorous intentions turned down by none other than Anne Tolley.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Trevor “Tiger” Mallard likes to think he is Clever Trevor, in fact he is the class clown who just isn’t funny anymore.

With the advent of the Labour MPs Blog “Tiger” has often written posts before engaging the brain. We are actually getting an understanding of the nastiness  of Labour that is hidden behind closed doors of parliament. These are the sorts of things they use to hassle people in the corridors.

Last night in my RSS Feed came this little gem from Red Alert and Tiger Mallard.

Zoning the issue for auckland central?

by Trevor Mallard

It is going to be interesting to see how hard the Nats push their policy of shifting from a pretty strict zoning system, based on a right to enrol if in zone, to giving flexibilty to schools to pick and choose students.

Being in the Auckland Grammar zone increases the value of a house by between $100 and $150k, we will see how Nikki Kaye balances her pretty extreme free market views with the writing off of property values.

Big + for Jacinda I think.

I clicked through and the post had disappeared, Clare Curran has subsequently said it was a technical error. I call bullshit on this, she has just lied. I challenge anyone in the world to find me a single example of a post that has been sent to RSS hasn’t actually appeared on the blog first. A WOBH shirt to anyone who can.

Then of course are the factual errors, which is we follow the “Dan Rather defense” Tiger will claim are “fake but accurate”. Sorry Trevor, you are the blogosphere not the parliament and we can call you a liar out here and a hypocrite without getting all teary about it.

Fake but Accurate Fact 1: “their policy of shifting from a pretty strict zoning system” Wrong Trevor, that policy which is in place was the one you put in as Eduction Minister. The true and accurate history is thus:

In 1989 Labour partly abolished zoning as part of Tomorrow’s Schools, but kept a safeguard that all students had a right to attend their local school.

When National came to power in 1990 it allowed schools to control their enrolment policies. But eight years later the party introduced a restricted form of zoning for overcrowded schools.

In 2000 Labour took this further and gave students the right to attend the school within their zone.

So the “rigid policy” that you rail against was actually on made in late 1998 which you as Education tightened even further in 2000. That makes you not only a liar but a hypocrite as well.

Fake but Accurate fact 2: Contrary to Tiger’s post Auckland Grammar School is in Epsom electorate and as David Farrar points out their zone is only about 5% in Auckland Central. i doubt Auckland Grammar School has ever been in Auckland Central and it has always had a zone, even when I was there eating my lunch in the 80’s.

Fake but Accurate fact 3: Nikki Kaye is far from extreme free market views. She is a Pinko in the wrong party, in fact I think she thinks she is the new Katherine Rich. You’d get a must try harder on that one Tiger.

Now just to summarise, just like the IPCC AR4 we have a couple of paragraphs that are actually fact free.

Bottom line: Tiger admits zoning costs family’s up to $100k-$150k, Yet he wants to retain Zoning. Tiger also thinks that removing choice from parents is a winning strategy for “Socialist Cindy” Ardern. I just hope and pray that Trevor is charge of Labour’s overall strategy.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Tiger Mallard is upset about there being no pies in Taranaki.

Well perhaps he should have got there before Parekura “Big Ben” Horomia.

Parekura at all the pies

Popularity: unranked [?]

Quite a few times in the past week Tiger Mallard has got himself in a spot of bother with his growing internet addiction.

The Whale’s spies in Goff’s office tell me that they are concerned with his addiction and his dropping off in workload  in other areas as a result.

It’s strange really because Tiger really seems to be the only senior Labour MP presently awake at the wheel. Even if that alertness is the best entertainment on the net right now. Tiger is really does seem to has his y-fronts in a twist and is spending more and more time locked away in a dark room muttering about the indignity of being in opposition. It might explain his creepy fixation with all things Cactus.

Speaking of entertainment, it seems some MPs are finding coming to grips with Social Media, Tiger especially after de-friending Metiria “Tiki” Turei. What a pompous ass him talking about watching her behaviour. Tiger is the worst behaved of all MPs and now without Goff reigning him in or Helen wagging her finger at him he goes off like a loose cannon frequently.

Some of the problems with Social Media and publicly available MPs is the posting of photos. One of the better MPs at maintaining his Facebook profile in something other than a sanitised version of the local rag is Simon “Just-in” Bridges. However he isn’t immune as you can see from this comment on a post about opening an Indian Sweat Sweet Shop.

“Crusher” Collins looks like she has a good sense of humour too by joining the Fan page of “Always Blow on the Pie”. Good to see the police minister supporting one of her own.

Crusher Collins is a Fan of "Always blow on the pie"

Popularity: unranked [?]

Oh Dear, Shane “Five Chins” Jones is pissing off the Maori Party and Now Tiger is throwing insults at the Greens. I think we can be assured that Labour will “go it alone” as a strategy for the next election. Just waiting fro Creepy Cosgrove to slander Jim Anderton and the insult chain will be complete.

Now I don’t support Metiria’s politics at all but credit where credit is due she knows Social Media better than most MPs and certainly a lot better that Tiger Mallard whose little tanty has now made it a story. I just bet that “Cut and paste is readying a post just as soon as he finished his Boss Burger combo he had for afternoon tea.

Here is the exchange that lead to Tiger Mallard de-friending Metiria Turei on Facebook:

Trevor Mallard: 25c/hour. $10 week for 40 hours then minus tax, extra acc, ets charges. Not fair John Key. It should be $15.

Metiria Turei: Trevor, with genuine respect, my question is why didn’t you do it when you had the chance? It has been the right thing to do for years.

Trevor Mallard: We moved it from $7 to $12. Trajectory would have had it at $14. Not much real help from you guys esp since Russel started cuddling tories.

Metiria Turei: Getting personal wont help here – this is a political debate about the use of power when you have it to weild.
I agree that the minimum wage did rise under Labour. Even if the trajectory, in the best of circumstances, would have had it at $14 in 2010, it was still a slow process over nearly 10 years.
The issue now is to make sure that we have a political commitment from parties that the minimum wage will go to at least $15 ph or to, as the petition says, “66% of the average total hourly earning as defined in the Quarterly Employment Survey”. We need a commitment to kepp closing that gap in the short and long term and a commitment fairly sharing the cost of eliminating poverty.

Trevor Mallard: Metiria the txts and phones are running hot at your choice to attack Labour rather than Nats on multiple sites on this issue – general disbelief – from both Greens and Labour people. This is politics not personal.

Metiria Turei: We have to live with our legacies and its hard sometimes.
Its not unreasonable to ask what the barriers to doing the right thing was in the past and whether those barriers will still be in place in the future. What we need now is positive future focused commitments.

Trevor Mallard: Metiria Cant tell if you are trying to be cute or smart or what. I am very proud of the progress Labour made on the minimum wage. Took it from $7 to $12. Way way ahead of inflation and change in average wages.
Worked closely with Sue Bradford on the youth issue. And she knew how to work on an issue wither there was broad agreement and it didn’t involve repeating the very lines the National party used to attack Labour as you have done tonight.

I love a good cat fight. Points win to Metiria for keeping her cool. Is anyone else loving Trevor playing with blogs? I sure am…comedic gold almost every day.

Popularity: unranked [?]

“Tiger” Mallard has a post about taxation. He points us at the weasel explanation at the top of the site and then launches it a rather confusing tirade about tax, that ironically now sits above “Mangrove” Nash’s piece of stupidity on the page.

Firstly he admits that Labour made foreign ownership in our tax system worse. Quite what he means is, I suspect, beyond even him to explain. I fail to see how foreign investment in New Zealand is a bad thing and New Zealand countries buying, oh I don’t know….overseas airports, or breweries, or paper plants is somehow wonderful and good. With Globalisation you can’t shut your borders to foreign investment and then expect open access for our own countries. Labour or at least Tiger Mallard think that was where they made things worse.

Then he proposes a solution:

What is the answer? Eliminate the margin between company and top personal rates. You can do this one of three ways:

First, reduce top tax rates down to meet company rates. Second, increase company tax to the top personal rate. Or third (my preference) be fiscally neutral about it and get them to meet at about 36c and while you are at it put the trust rate at that level too.

That means Kiwis can foot it on equal terms buying our assets – it also means we have a tax effect neutral system for choosing the form a business takes – and that is a good thing.

No Tiger, dear, it isn’t a good thing. You have just decided to reverse Labour policy and at the same proposed raping new Zealanders pockets, their companies pockets and family trusts that much more. He has no evidence that his solution would be fiscally neutral he just runs off at the mouth. Finally he reckons having all the top tax rates, company tax and Trust tax at wonderful nirvana of 36%. The man is loopy.

I guess we can one thing at least. Tiger doesn’t own a company and never has, he doesn’t have any assets in a trust, and doesn’t have any money because the missus cleaned him out. All that paints him is an aging, angry, twat masquerading as an intellectual power house when it comes to finance and the reality is he is a drop-kick, broken-arsed loser.

Has he even bothered discussing this with Goff or “Mangrove” Nash?

Popularity: unranked [?]

Not bloody likely if “Tiger” Mallard has anything to do with it.

I knew Labour’s MP blog would get “Tiger” in trouble, he just can’t keep his trap shut just like he can’t turn down the glad eye from a woman.

I sure hope that $45 million paid off, it would be interesting to know if the taxes paid by the staff exceeded the $45million tax credit to the production company?

Popularity: unranked [?]

Clare Curran deleted a comment of mine on Red Alert, clearly she has decided she doesn’t want to win the Whaleoil MP of the Month award.

Just a few posts ago she was all the bastion of free speech. Now she deletes a comment because it is provocative. The post I commented on was on by Trevor “Tiger” Mallard whinging:

Why oh why am I in Wellington  for the weekend.

Rain is driving in from the south for the second day in a row.

And my totally provocative comment was?

"Tiger" Mallard wants the truth suppressed

Poor old Labour, trying to suppress the truth and write their own history. A little bit like the Greens at the moment.

Popularity: unranked [?]

It is rather telling that “Tiger” Mallard could only choke out three words in praise of Helen Clark. Even pinko Farrar managed more than that.

"Tiger" Mallard waxes lyrical about Helen Clark's ONZ

Popularity: unranked [?]

Well no actually and it is pretty disgusting watching a key Labour front bencher gloat about a business being in receivership and the helping hand he played in that. Trevor “Tiger” Mallard is essentially a loud mouthed, rooting, cheating bully who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself and where he is going to get his next root from.

Next time you hear him spouting on about how much Labour cares about business then remember this;

Trevor Mallard gloating at helping a business fail.

Popularity: unranked [?]